


Banana Milk.

by dyoang



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Juno AU, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-20
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2021-02-18 04:17:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21505072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyoang/pseuds/dyoang
Summary: After a drunken night, Jongin gets Kyungsoo knocked up.They are only 18, what the hell are they going to do?
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai
Comments: 19
Kudos: 304
Collections: #BabyMakingFest2019





	Banana Milk.

**Author's Note:**

> warnings; drunk sex, mentions of alcohol, male childbirth, breastfeeding?
> 
> prompt number: BMF381  
> pairing: Kaisoo  
> carrier: Kyungsoo  
> pregnancy: During pregnancy  
> babies: Just one  
> Prompt: After a drunken night, Jongin gets Kyungsoo knocked up.  
> They are only 18, what the hell are they going to do?

Banana milk.

  
  
  


Kyungsoo stares at the white plastic stick for what feels like hours, he shakes it, hoping it will change the lines like an Etch A Sketch. It’s the eighth test he’s taken in the past three days which have all confirmed that he is pregnant, at first he wasn’t sure if the two lines were complete, so he took another and another hoping that they would change, but the more he took the bolder the lines became. 

Groaning, he put the test back inside its box and placed it in his hoodie pocket to be thrown away in a place where no one would find. He didn’t know how to feel, or what to do or say. His fingers tremble as he leans against the bathroom sink staring at his reflection.  _ How could this happen? _

  
  


_ Flashback to three weeks ago. _

The bass was vibrating through the house, it was dark and plastic cups filled the place. Kyunsoo had a few shots but he wasn’t drunk. He definitely felt a buzz from the vodka and the tight skinny jeans Baekhyun leant him. His best friend had disappeared for god knows how long, was it an hour or 5 minutes? Kyungsoo didn’t have a clue about time, all he knew was how good he was feeling dancing between bodies. 

An arm wrapped around his waist from behind him and Kyungsoo pressed himself back into them. He flipped his head back to get a good look at the stranger to see it was someone he recognised but couldn’t remember their name. Jongdae? Jonghyun? Jong... Jong... 

They smiled down at Kyungsoo, he was sweating and swayed to the music. Kyungsoo let him bring his body closer to his so he was pressed against his back, he could feel his breath on his neck and his belt buckle on his lower back. Kyungsoo was wearing a loose crop top that barely covered his nipples, he raised his arms to touch the back of the person's neck and show off his perky pink nubs.

“Kyungsoo right? I’ve seen you around campus.” The taller spoke in his ear. 

“Y-Yeah… I recognise you. You’re Chanyeol's friend, Jongin right?” 

“Mhm, do you want to get a drink? It’s a bit noisy here.” 

“Sure.” Kyungsooo nodded and followed him to the kitchen.

They took shots together, downed a few bottles of beer and danced some more. Kyungsoo felt incredibly lifted and let Jongin touch him some more. Jongin kissed his jaw and stroked his bare hips as they swayed to the music, he kissed up his jaw until he reached his lips and Kyungsoo kissed him back, tasting the alcohol on his tongue. They made out in the middle of the dance floor, tongues clashing and wondering hands.

Jongin moaned into the kiss and softly grinded on the smaller. 

“Do you want to go someplace quieter?” he asked, Kyungsoo gave a short moan of approval and let Jongin lead the way, he took his hand and pushed through the crowds of drunk bodies.

They reached a room upstairs that was quiet and away from the life of the party, the bass vibrated through the walls and floors. Jongin locked the door behind them and pushed Kyungsoo against the wall, he began kissing him again, this time more roughly and a bit sloppy.

Warm, large hands feathered up Kyungsoo’s stomach until they reached his perky nipples and thumbs toyed with them until the elder was a moaning mess.

“S-sensitive…” he whispered, leaning into the touch. 

Before Kyungsoo knew it, his shirt and jeans were being ripped off and thrown in every direction. The knowledge that he was going to be devoured made him hard. He was pushed to the bed in the room, falling back onto his back. 

Jongin was on him in a hurry, kissing his neck and grabbing at his hips.

"Uhhh fuck, feels so good…" he moaned as he leaned his head back to let Jongin have better access.

Jongin started to trail kisses down his body, he was so drunk and out of it but it felt amazing. Before Kyungsoo knew it those lips were nearing his clothed dick.

Jongin pulled them down, revealing his stiff cock.

"Mmm so small," he grinned, kissing the sensitive skin around it. "So fucking cute baby, want my mouth around it?"

Kyungsoo moaned as he watched the man wink at him before opening his mouth and taking him in fully. Jongin had a talented tongue, he seemed to know exactly how to suck Kyungsoo’s dick turning him into a whimpering mess.

Kyungsoo’s fingers were in his hair helping him bob at a fast pace.

"Jesus… oh shit… that's so good, fuck Jongin…"

As he felt a tongue flick over the slit, his screams came out silent. He didn't want to finish now, but he couldn't stop thrusting into the warm heat.

As if Jongin read his mind, his legs were being spread open. "Gonna fuck you so good baby, just you wait,"

Kyungsoo looked down to see Jongin's head disappeared, pressing his mouth to his hole.

Kyungsoo had never felt this before, but oh god he wanted it every day now. Jongin was eating him out as he was starved for days, he licked and sucked and kissed until Kyungsoo felt like he was going to burst.

Before he knew it, a finger stroked the surrounding skin. 

Kyungsoo nodded and bit down on his lip hard. "Please… please Jongin I need it,"

Jongin grinned, pressing in a finger.

He began to prod his fingers in and out, watching as the other man moaned and squirmed, begging for more.

Two fingers now, pressing in harder and further, stretching him out.

"Nnnnghgh...fuuuck," Kyungsoo groaned. He was so close already.

"I'm ready, please," he huffed out as his fingers grazed his tiny dick.

Jongin moved back and manoeuvred Kyungsoo so he was on all fours, god he was stunning. His ass was peachy and perfect, he raked his hands over the flesh.

Kyungsoo shifted his hips, wanting, needing. Jongin pushed him forward so his face was in the pillows, grasping at his hips hard.

Jongin positioned himself so he was grazing Kyungsoo's hole. His fingers holding onto his thick thighs so hard, they would leave bruises.

He pushed in slowly, not wanting to hurt him despite how horny he was.

"Shit, you're so tight," He clenched his eyes shut as he rocked his hips against the other man.

He paused when he was fully inside, taking in the moment and listening to Kyungsoo’s whines. After a few seconds, he pulled out halfway and pushed in again, this time with a faster and harder pace. Skin slapping echoed the room, the sound of Kyungsoo’s muffled moans and Jongin’s panting was all that could be heard over the harsh bass downstairs.

Jongin pulled out, admiring the swell of Kyungsoo’s ass and his cock pushing through. He could sit and watch himself fuck the elder all night. 

After a short while, Kyungsoo got frustrated and pushed himself back on Jongin’s cock, taking the lead. Jongin’s hand’s made way down his back, caressing the soft milky skin. They found a place in Kyungsoo’s hips and he started to take over and thrust into him. Kyungsoo moaned loudly, fisting his own dick to bring himself to cum. Jongin noticed this and swatted his hand away, replacing it with his own hand. His hand covered Kyungsoo’s whole length, he flicked his wrist while bending his hips at a certain angle that had Kyungsoo moaning louder and pushing himself back to meet with Jongin’s thrusts. 

It didn’t take long for Kyungsoo to come undone, he came in Jongin’s fist and dripped onto the bedsheets underneath. His walls clenching Jongin’s cock bought him to his own orgasm, he grunted, giving harsh, long thrusts to cum deep inside Kyungsoo. He collapsed on his back, kissing his nape and sucking the flesh. They were both sweaty and sticky, but there wasn’t a bathroom in the bedroom. Jongin looked around the room and noticed a towel by the door. He pulled out, grabbed the towel and cleaned Kyungsoo up as well as himself. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, watching Kyungsoo laying on his back, leg’s wide open and eyes shut. His chest rising and falling with a blissed expression on his face.

“I’m great,” he replied, they both laid in the bed for a while, before deciding to get up and put their clothes back on, heading back downstairs to the party.

  
  
  
  
  
  


_ End of flashback _ .

“Why did I do that, I’m so fucking stupid.” He mumbled in his pillow, he didn’t remember much of the evening but he definitely remembered sleeping with Kim Jongin. 

“I don’t even know him and I still fucked him. I really am a slut.”

Kyungsoo whined and threw his pillow across the room in frustration, he really fucked up. What was he to do? He was 18 and in his final year at school. He couldn’t have a baby! He was still a kid himself. His parents would kill him, and disown him for the rest of his life. 

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?” He mumbled to his stomach, it growled back at him with hunger. “Ugh,” he was starving but everything he ate he threw back up. The smell of ramen made his insides curl up and he could only stomach a few spoonfuls of rice. “I really should eat something before I pass out.”

  
  


He slipped on a pair of worn-out sneakers and left his home after telling his parents he wouldn’t be too long. He felt disgusted, his jogging bottoms and hoodie gave him a real look of regret. He pulled the hood up over his head and dragged his feet to the nearest convenience store. On the way, he walked past a public trash can and looked around to make sure no one was looking before tossing the pregnancy test in.

The aircon in the convenience store was refreshing after feeling like a sweaty pig in his oversized hoodie, he grabbed two cartons of banana milk because it was the only thing he could stomach and a warm sweet potato. He sat on a bench outside by a small park watching children play while he scoffed down his snacks. 

He tried to imagine himself as a parent and the image made him feel sick, how could he bring up a child when he gets anxious if he can’t remember if he saved his game on animal crossing, the fear of the angry mole popping out of the ground yelling at him. 

When he arrived home later that evening, he jumped into bed and did some research on his iPhone for abortion clinics in his area. He had to get this thing out of him as soon as possible, if he was to leave it for too long he would get fat and people would notice. He hated kids, they whined, cried and screamed all the time. The poor kid would have a 50% chance of having his appearance and he wouldn’t want to put him through that when he struggles himself on a daily basis with his fat cheeks and short height. Not to mention the kid would ruin his body, stretch marks and probably won’t be able to shit for two weeks. 

He spent all night reading people's experiences which soon gave him a serious anxiety attack, the gruesome stories made him feel sick, being prodded and treated like some kind of examined alien. He turned his phone off and buried his head under his duvet hoping sleep would come to him quickly. 

Except he was not lucky, Kyungsoo tossed and turned all night with vivid images of his unborn child. 

  
  


-

The next few weeks Kyungsoo spent isolated in his room whenever he wasn’t at school. The morning sickness was getting worse and the craving of banana milk was costing him his pocket money. Baekhyun would not stop harassing him at school asking why he looked so miserable all the time and why he would run down the corridors pushing students out the way to get to the bathroom in time to throw up. 

“Did you eat the canteens hot dogs again? You know they give you a bad stomach.” Baekhyun said rubbing his best friends back in a comforting manner. Kyungsoo wiped his mouth with his sleeve and took deep breaths.

“Yeah, I really fancied one.” He lied washing his hands. 

“You wanna get ice cream after class?” Bakehyun replied, he could tell something was up with his best friend since he started avoiding Chanyeol and Jongin in the hallway. 

“Actually, I fancy pretzels. Dipped in ice cream and covered in nuts.” Baekhyun stared blankly at Kyungsoo.   
  


“ _ Wild _ . I’ll meet you after class by your locker.”

  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Kyungsoo was incredibly nervous, he knew that he would be telling Baekhyun about his pregnancy but he didn’t know how to start, the lump in his throat was getting bigger and he felt like crying. They had eaten, visited the arcade and were now walking around the mall window shopping. Baekhyun babbled on for hours about god knows what, Kyungsoo’s mind wasn’t there. He was in a complete daze.

“Kyungsoo?”

He was pulled out of his thoughts when Baekhyun had stopped them by a seating area. “Hmm?”

“You were so dazed you almost walked straight into a Grandma.”

“Sorry.”

Baekhyun gestured him to sit down as he was looking pale. “You don’t look so good. Are you still feeling sick?”

Kyungsoo could feel it, the rise of vomit. His legs started to shake with fear, why couldn’t he just tell him? Baekhyun was his best friend and they shared every secret. He shook his head and swallowed the bile down.

“I’m okay. I think I’m tired. I’m gonna head home and take a nap.”

“Are you sure? Do you want me to take you home?”

“No.. I’ll be okay. You go on ahead, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Baekhyun nodded and watched his best friend drag his feet to the direction of the metro. 

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  


A few days later Kyungsoo pulled up the courage to ask Baekhyun to meet him at the park right near his house, he was going to sit down and tell him everything and hope he can get the best advice for his shit storm. The weather was warm and the evening was drawing near, they sat at a sheltered pyung sang in the corner of the playground. Baekhyun bought a bag full of snacks from the nearest convenience store. Kyungsoo happily devoured everything, they talked about school and the latest gossip. For some reason he didn’t feel so nervous as he was last time, he needed to get things off his chest and he scolded himself the night before for being a little bitch.

“So um,” he began, opening the packet of his 3rd sausage. “I need to tell you something.”

“Oh?” 

“You know when we went to that party like a few months ago and Jongin and Chanyeol where there?” Kyungsoo could feel his hands sweating profoundly and he couldn’t stop fidgeting. Baekhyun could tell his best friend was bothered so he didn’t interrupt him and let him take his time.

“So I kind of… slept with Jongin.”

“I knew it.” Baekhyun gasped, eyes popping out of his face.

“And I’m pregnant.”

“Oh shit….”

  
  
  
  
  


“What are you going to do?” Baekhyun said after a period of time. Kyungsoo was now pacing with his fingers tangled through his hair.

“I don’t know! I was going to abort it but then I read all these stories of how gruesome it can be and did you know that fetuses have fingernails?!”

  
  


Baekhyun sat quietly for a while, not knowing what to say. 

“Does Jongin know?”

“No.”

“Your parents?”

“No.”

“What are you going to do?” 

Kyungsoo sat down and put his face in his hands, he wanted to cry, scream and punch himself but the tears wouldn’t escape and the anger was bottled in too tight. “I don’t want an abortion… But I can't have this baby.”

“A-Are you sure your pregnant and it’s not another food baby?” Baekhyun inquired. 

“It’s not a food baby, I took a test, several actually. I am definitely up the spout.” 

Baekhyun gawped at him, “Dude you’re really fucked up, like seriously.” 

“Don’t you think I don’t already know that?” Kyungsoo throws his body back and splays himself on the surface of the pyung sang and rocked himself whining loudly. “Can I just fucking die already?!”

  
  
  
  
  
  


-

Four weeks later.

“You really need to tell your parents and especially Jongin!” Baekhyun urged. It was a Friday night and the two were having a sleepover at Kyungsoo’s. His parents were away for the night and it was the perfect opportunity for them to discuss Kyungsoo’s situation without prying ears. 

They were sitting on the floor of his bedroom with a pile of snacks and laptops open with multiple tabs open, Kyungsoo had noticed his gain in weight and was currently lying on his back prodding his stomach. He had decided that he was going to give his baby up for adoption, and with the help of his best friend they would spend the entire weekend searching for families that are willing to adopt.

“You haven’t even seen a doctor! You don’t even know how far you are or your due date. We need to know these things before you start searching into adoption.” The younger scolded, he had become an annoying mother since Kyungsoo announced his pregnancy.

“I’m going to make an appointment on Monday for the week, once I know how far I am I’ll tell people.” Kyungsoo sighed. 

“Don’t you think Jongin should have a say in this too? What if he wants to keep it?”

Kyungsoo threw a packet of M&M’s at Baekhyun. “He’s 17, he’s not gonna want a child. Besides, he’s going to college to study ballet.”

“How did you know that?”

The pregnant boy shrugged.

  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The next week Baekhyun went with Kyungsoo to the clinic after school, he knew he needed to confirm the pregnancy just in case there was a tiny chance he wasn’t pregnant. He swung his legs in the waiting room while looking around at the other people who were holding their own baby bumps. A wave of nausea hit him at the thought of his own stomach becoming that big that he would be wobbling like a penguin when he walked. Baekhyun was reading pamphlets about the dangers of childbirth such as emergency c-sections and forceps. He was making the most annoying hurling sounds while flashing the graphic images to Kyungsoo of a babies face after being pulled out by forceps.

“This kid is going to ruin your ass. Jesus, look at this!!” Baekhyun continued, shoving the pamphlet in the pregnant males face. Kyungsoo grabbed the paper and pulled it out of his best friends hands, scrunched it up into a ball and threw it in his face. As Baekhyun went to pick up the paper ball, the door of the doctor's office swung open and Kyungsoo’s name was called.

A blood test later, it was 100% that he was pregnant. Up the duff. Preggers. Whatever you want to call it. He didn’t feel anything when he had his scan, the small bean on the screen was already growing so fast and ruining him. He was already 13 weeks and would be due around Christmas.

Baekhyun wanted a sonogram for himself for some odd reason, Kyungsoo didn’t see the point in having one but he thought he could give it to Jongin. 

What a nice present. Here’s your unborn child. Congratulations.

The doctor blabbed more than Baekhyun did, and none of the information was being taken in. It went through one ear and out the other. 

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo decided that he would tell Jongin first, and then his parents. Telling the father of his unborn child the news was much more bearable than facing his own flesh and blood, even if he hardly knew the guy.

He had no idea how to go about it, a text was an easy way out and calling him was too nerve-wracking. But then he realized he didn’t have his number, and Jongin wasn’t an active profile on Facebook. He decided to tell him face to face, but not at school. He knew where Jongin practised dance, it was a small studio across town and he was there most evenings and weekends. 

It was a few stops on the metro, and then a 10-minute walk. The spring had arrived and left too fast and the sweaty, humid Korean summer had already arrived. He arrived at the studio, it was hidden away behind a cafe. Kyungsoo looked through the glass door and watched Jongin, he moved gracefully and almost floated just like a feather in the wind. 

He didn’t want to disturb him, so he went next door and ordered a peach ice tea to go and sat outside in the shade.

  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo had finished his ice tea and was happily watering his flowers on new leaf when he almost didn’t hear the door of the studio open and Jongin emerged out.

Jongin noticed him straight away, a shy smile forced itself on his lips. Kyungsoo quickly saved his game and stuffed his DS into his tote. 

“What are you doing here?” Jongin asked first, he was wearing a tank top and shorts. Kyungsoo gulped as he watched a single drop of sweat run down his neck, there was no doubt about it that Kyungsoo was insanely attracted to the younger. And now his hormones were all over the place, the urge to grab him and kiss him right there on the spot was provoking. 

Since Kyungsoo was waiting for a long time, he had planned out a speech and let Jongin sink everything in slowly, but his anxiety just suddenly rose up through his chest like he was going to throw up or burp, but instead something more shocking came out of his mouth.

“I’m pregnant.”

Jongin stared. He stared for a very long time and Kyungsoo was certain he blinked about three times. He stared at the ground and then his shoes, he noticed a hole in his left pair of vans and his big toe could be seen.

“...am I?” he finally asked.

“Yes.” 

“What… What are you…”

“I’m going to give it up for adoption. I’ve already found a family and I’m meeting them soon, they are going to pay for all the medical bills.” Kyungsoo replied. 

“Oh..”

“Oh! Here. I’m due around Christmas.” Kyungsoo pulled out the sonogram from his pocket and handed it to the younger. “Baekhyun keeps calling it beansprout, so I guess that’s its nickname.”

Jongin looked at the sonogram. There was a sprout coming out of the baby's head drawn on with a sharpie. 

“W-what did your parents say?” Jongin finally asked after staring at the sonogram after a long time.

“I haven’t told them yet... I wanted you to know first.”

The younger sighed and stuffed the sonogram in his pocket, he ran his fingers through his hair in annoyance. 

“I gotta go. Um, do you need me for appointments or anything?” 

“Um... I mean, if you want to.” Kyungsoo shrugged. 

The atmosphere was suddenly awkward, and Jongin nor Kyungsoo didn’t know what to say. They exchanged numbers and eventually parted ways. Jongin’s attitude towards the pregnant male was different from when they were together at the party, and Kyungsoo felt a little sad about it.

  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Telling Kyungsoo’s parents was the most difficult thing he’s ever done in his life. Growing up he didn’t have much of a special bond with them, but they always made sure that he got the best of the best. He was a lonely child and grew up in solitary. He knew his parents would be mad, furious even. But he was not expecting to be kicked out.

“How could you do this? You have brought shame on our family!” Kyungsoo’s mother screeched at him while he was packing his bags as fast as he could. 

“I’m sorry!” 

Thick tears streamed down his cheeks, he didn’t want this. This isn’t what was supposed to happen. The screams and insults continued as he collected his clothes, school work and laptop. His father had slapped him across the face, leaving a huge red handprint which was starting to swell. 

“I don’t want to see your face again.”

“You are disgusting.”

“You have ruined your life.”

The insults continued in his head as he was running down the street, eyes blinded by tears, snot dripping from his nose and his shoes not on properly. It was late, but the apartments around him were still lit from the families inside getting ready for bed or just coming home from a late shift at work. 

He ran for what felt like miles, the sweat had completely drenched his face and his hair was soaked. He came across a bench and threw the duffle bag on before collapsing his tired self on.

He felt numb. His heart was racing and he leaned over the side of the bench to throw up. He sat for a long time. Thinking about everything. Wondering if he could have done things differently.

He placed his hand over his stomach. He couldn’t feel anything, it was too early. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for the child growing inside him.

“I’m sorry.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  


Baekhyun lives in a rich neighbourhood with an elder sister and his parents. Kyungsoo has known Baekhyun since middle school and they have been in a lot of shit together. The younger was not expecting his best friend to turn up at his home late at night with tears streaming down his face and a duffle bag. 

“Th-They…” Kyungsoo gasped, he let Baekhyun take him into his arms and comfort him.

“Hey… Don’t worry… You can stay here now. I’ll take care of you and beansprout.” Baekhyun soothed, stroking the elder's damp hair. He let Kyungsoo sob into his shirt and let him cry it all out until there were no more tears. 

An hour later and Kyungsoo was bathed and in bed with Baekhyun spooning him. 

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo croaked.

“For what? This isn’t your fault. We didn’t think this would happen, but you’re safe now.” 

“What about your parents?” Kyungsoo worried, he couldn’t expect them to take on the responsibility for him. 

“I’ll talk to them in the morning, but now lets sleep. We’ll skip class tomorrow so you can rest and sort things out.” the younger soothed, raking his fingers through Kyungsoo’s clean hair until the pregnant male fell asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  


The Byun’s where a very laid back family. People who knew them were jealous of how relaxed they are. Baekhyun’s mother treated her children’s friends like her own, and she was more than happy to have Kyungsoo stay with them until he gets sorted. They were sitting in the kitchen drinking coffee, Baekhyun’s sisters were older and had jobs, his father was a lawyer and his mother worked at home as a writer. 

“You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need, I’ve cleared out the spare bedroom for you. I hope you’ll be comfortable.” Baekhyun’s mother said kindly. 

“I won’t be in your way, once the baby is born, I'm going to work and find my own place,” Kyungsoo replied he was so grateful for their kindness. 

“When are you meeting the family and adoption agency?” 

“This weekend.”

He was nervous about meeting the family who will raise his child, what if they didn’t like him and changed their mind? Or what if they were drug addicts? They seemed like a normal, loving couple from the pictures they had exchanged over iMessage. They seemed well off, and could support his kid with everything he’d ever need, Kyungsoo could never do that. He can’t even afford dinner for himself.

He wondered if he should contact Jongin about the appointment, but his reaction to his news didn’t seem to go so well, so he assumed that he didn’t care about what he did. He only saw him a few times around school, but he was never alone so he couldn’t get a chance to speak to him.

  
  
  


For the rest of the day, Baekhyun wanted to cheer up his best friend, so he dragged him to the outdoor clothing market to look at maternity clothes. The streets of Hongdae was busy even for a weekday, they browsed and snacked on street food until their bellies were full. Kyungsoo ended up finishing off Baekhyun’s Tteokbokki, the plus side on his pregnancy was he could eat as much as he wanted, even though he was gaining weight rapidly. 

Baekhyun treated his best friend to a few pairs of maternity jeans and oversized t-shirts. They walked around a park shaded by the tree’s, the weather was getting even warmer and Kyungsoo was crying inside about how he will cope when he’s enormous. 

“Have you thought about your birthing plans?” Baekhyun asked, he pulled out a hand fan and handed it to the sweaty male. 

“No, I didn’t know I had plans.”

“There are loads of ways for your delivery, and have you thought about who you want to be there with you?” 

Kyungsoo pondered for a moment. He wanted to be comfortable, and he didn’t like the idea of the adoptee’s being there and staring at him. 

“I guess I’ll have it in the hospital, and I think I’d like you there with me… if that’s okay.” 

Baekhyun beamed and swung his arms around his best friend. 

“Of course I will!” 

“Okay but you have to promise me that you’re not going to make weird noises or tell me that the babies head is ripping my asshole apart.” The elder laughed, shoving him away.

“That I cannot guarantee.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Lee DaeJun and Eun were a picture-perfect couple. Their home was something out of a Hollywood movie, from the chandeliers that hung from the high ceilings and the grand piano that sat in the foyer. Kyungsoo sat on the sofa observing the house as he chewed on the sleeves of his hoodie, Eun was in the kitchen preparing drinks while DaeJun sat smiling at the boy, their  attorney was present. 

“So Kyungsoo,” Eun started after she had placed a tray of snacks and coffee on the table in front of them. “How far are you?”

“I’m a Senior.” 

The couple laughed, showing perfect pearly white teeth. 

“I mean in your pregnancy.”

“Oh! I’m coming up to 18 weeks, I’m growing fast.” Kyungsoo replied politely. His stomach was getting bigger by the week, he had a tiny but noticeable bump. 

“Do you mind if we ask you some questions about yourself?” DaeJun asked, he was a tall and handsome man in his early 40’s. Kyungsoo helped himself to a couple of macaroons and sipped his milky coffee. 

“First, what made you pick us?” 

“Uh, in the people’s section in the city newspaper. I saw your picture and thought you looked nice.”

The couple laughed and held hands, they talked about how happy they were when they received an email from Kyungsoo and complimented his appearance. They asked many questions, such as the father of the baby, his family history and birthing plans.

“As you know we are going to pay for all your medical expenses, we are willing to negotiate an open adoption.”

“Wait. What does that mean?” 

“It means they'd send annual updates, photos, let you know how the baby is doing as he or she grows up.” The attorney finally speaks. She’s an elderly lady with thin lips that are stuck in a constant look of disgust. 

“Whoah. I don't want to see pictures. I don't need to be notified of anything.” Kyungsoo irked. 

“Well, then we agree a traditional closed adoption would be best for all involved, then?” The couple gaze at each other with glee and grin widely.

Eun leans forward to speak quietly as if the FBI were listening. “Are you looking for any other compensation?”

Kyungsoo ponders for a while. The money would help him with his future, college, housing and food. 

“I-I don’t-... Can I think about it?”

“Of course, take as long as you need. Now then, shall we get these documents signed?” Eun smiles at him, they all have a copy each and Kyungsoo reads through carefully. He’s doing the right thing, he knows it. The Lee’s are the perfect couple to raise his child and he or she will be surrounded by a good loving family without any financial worries. 

He signs about 10 pages, and the attorney hands him his own copies to keep. Eun chatters away about how she can’t wait to decorate the nursery and brings out catalogues where she has put a post-it note on everything she likes.

DaeJun notices that Kyungsoo looks bored and interferes in with his wife’s rambling. “You look very tired, would you like me to drive you home?”

Kyungsoo blinks a few times, he does feel tired. The talk about babies made him exhausted. He wanted to go back to Baekhyun’s and take a long well-deserved nap.

“Ah, thank you, Sir. But I will be fine on the metro, I need the walk and fresh air.” Kyungsoo replies politely, he actually couldn’t be fucking arsed to walk in the sweaty hell outside and be crammed like a sardine on the metro but his shyness wouldn’t let him accept the offer.

“We’ll show you the way out.” Both Lee’s stand up and shake his hand. Kyungsoo knew his palms were clammy like always and he now just rubbed his sweat on his child’s future parents. They didn’t seem to notice or try to discreetly wipe their hand on their jeans.

“If you have any questions, please call us. You have both our numbers, and please if you can send updates on the baby as well as scans.” Eun says, she rubs his shoulder in a motherly way.

“Of course I will.” 

They say their goodbyes and Eun thanks him over and over. Kyungsoo leaves and goes straight to the convenience store, he’s craving banana milk like crazy. He buys 3 cartons and takes the metro home. Luck was on his side, he was offered a seat when someone noticed the pregnancy badge on his bag.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo was getting bigger by the week. He would often stare at his stomach in the mirror for a while when he got out of the shower, a few tiny stretch marks kissed his skin. He was able to cover it well with baggy t-shirts, but in a few more months it would be very noticeable and he was dreading going back to school after the summer finishes. He had just started the summer holidays, and most people would be spending it taking family vacations to Jeju Island or surfing at Busan, but Kyungsoo never had that kind of luxury. 

Baekhyun’s parents were travelling to the countryside to see his grandparents who lived on a farm that harvested watermelons and strawberries. It was great being just the two of them in his house, they could stay up all night playing video games camped out in front of the flatscreen TV in the lounge. Kyungsoo had only 4 more months of being pregnant and he can’t wait to get it out of him, the baby was causing him to have a hefty amount of heartburn which kept him up most nights. After meeting with the Lee’s, Kyungsoo felt confident in his decision and would often talk to the couple via Kakaotalk. Mrs Lee asked a lot of questions about how he was feeling and if the baby had kicked, it was a little annoying for him as he didn’t want to talk or even think about his pregnancy but he could understand from her point of view that she could not carry children and it was the only way for her to experience some sort of pregnancy.

It is already mid-August and Kyungsoo and Baekhyun are at the latters house sprawled on the couch with ice cream. Kyungsoo’s stomach sticks out of his t-shirt but makes a good table for his tub of mint chocolate chip.

“Have you heard from Jongin?” Baekhyun asked curiously.

“No, I mean… what am I supposed to say?” Kyungsoo scoffed. “Have… Have you heard anything from him? From Chanyeol?”

“Chan mentioned that he seemed down and not himself, maybe the news shook him.” Baekhyun said, he dug his spoon in Kyungsoo’s ice cream and bought it to his mouth, he cringed at the taste of mint and chocolate together. Nope, definitely a pregnant thing. It’s like toothpaste. “You should text him,”

“And say what? Hey, it’s Kyungsoo. Still pregnant with your child.”

“No! Just ask how he’s doing and see how the conversation flows. You still need to remember that it’s not just you going through this.” Baekhyun advised. 

“Ugh, you’re so annoying.” The elder groaned, he managed to shuffle his body to the end of the couch and lift himself up. “Few more months and I’m not gonna be able to do that unaided.” 

Baekhyun laughed as Kyungsoo waddled to the kitchen to put the rest of his ice cream in the freezer. “I’m gonna go take a nap, beansprout is lying on my ribcage and it’s incredibly uncomfortable.”

Kyungsoo made his way upstairs to his room and laid on the bed in a fetus position, he took his iPhone from his sweatpants and opened Jongin’s contact. 

_ Should I? _

_ Hey, it’s Kyungsoo… _ He began typing. He stopped and realised that they hadn’t texted each other since they last saw each other when Kyungsoo told him the news. What should he say?

To: Jongin: _ Hey, it’s Kyungsoo, how is your summer? :) _

Nice and simple. He hovered his thumb over the send button for a few seconds before hitting send. He sighed into the empty room and locked his phone, placing it on the pillow next to him and snuggling up with one of his favourite plushies until he fell asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Kyungsoo woke up he was very uncomfortable, the baby was pressing against his bladder and he sprinted to the bathroom to relieve himself. The sun was still up, so he only slept for about an hour. He could hear Baekhyun downstairs shouting at the TV and he guessed he was probably playing Mario Kart. 

He went back to his room to grab his phone to check the time when he saw he had a few messages come through from Jongin.

  
  


From: Jongin:  _ How are you? My summer is boring, I’m stuck at home while all my friends have gone on vacation so I’ve been spending more time at the studio ㅂ3ㅂ _

From: Jongin: _ What about you? _

From: Jongin: _ How’s the baby? _

  
  


Kyungsoo noticed that the last message was sent 30 minutes after the previous ones. He wondered if Jongin was thinking about asking him but couldn’t do it and hesitated for a while before finding the courage to do so.

  
  
  
  


To: Jongin: _ My summer has been eventful. _

  
  


Kyungsoo didn’t know if Jongin knew about him being kicked out and now he was living at Baekhyuns, but he didn’t want to begin to talk about it.

  
  


To: Jongin: _ Beansprout is growing, I’m getting so big. _

It was seconds when Jongin replied.

From: Jongin: _ Can I see? _

Kyungsooo stared at the message wondering why Jongin wanted to see his stomach, shrugging he walked towards the large mirror on the wall. He pulled his t-shirt up and turned to the side before taking a few pictures at different angles. He scrolled through and sent what he thought was the best picture because the lightning was camouflaging his stretch marks.

  
  


From: Jongin: _ Wow. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ - _

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jongin’s heart raced when he opened the image of Kyungsoo’s bump. He caressed the picture with his thumb and saved it. He wanted to cry. He wanted to crumble away. Since the news of him becoming a father completely changed him, he couldn’t sleep and he constantly worried about Kyungsoo.

Sure, it was a mistake. A drunk mistake. But these things happen, and even though he hardly knew Kyungsoo, he was always looking out for him at school during lunch just to see a glimpse of the boy. He would often check his facebook profile to see what Kyungsoo was up to. When Kyungsoo told him he was giving their baby away, his heart broke. He understood why Kyungsoo made the decision, and that it is his choice, but part of him wanted Kyungsoo to keep their child. 

He liked the idea of being domestic with Kyungsoo, raising their child together in a nice small house with a few dogs. Of course, Jongin wanted that, considering he had been crushing on the elder for three years.

He was only 17. He was too young to be a dad, but why did he feel like something wasn’t right?

  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Kyungsoo was uncomfortable. He was hot, sweaty and uncomfortable. The summer was at its peak and he wanted to do nothing but sit in a swimming pool filled with ice while eating a mango bingsu. He was more than glad for the air con in his room, his parent's place had a cheap aircon that broke every single summer. 

Baekhyun was out, saying he had an appointment of some sort. Kyungsoo was half asleep to even pay attention to what he was saying. He decided that he would take a walk, it did often help his back pain and the baby in his womb would settle down more in the night. He took a quick cool shower and changed into a loose-fitting t-shirt and a pair of maternity shorts that were a little tight across his thighs and arse. 

“I only bought these two weeks ago, God I am getting fat,” Kyungsoo mumbled to himself, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He felt enormous. He didn’t know if he could carry the baby to a full term as he felt like he couldn’t possibly get any bigger. 

He took his cream tote bag and made his way down the street, the heat hitting him as soon as he stepped out of the apartment. The convenience store was close by, along with some little shops that sold accessories, phone cases and stationery. Kyungsoo admired the pastel pink pencil case with a fluffy bunny keychain attached to the zipper. He was a big fan of stationery, the cuter the better. 

He went into the store, ignoring the looks of approval from the elderly woman behind the counter. He checked out all the plushies, picking out the ones he wanted to buy in his head. He stopped to admire a children’s tea set. He felt drawn towards it and he wasn’t sure why. It was a light brown set, with small adorable teddy bears printed on each cup. The bears face somewhat reminded him of someone.

He paid for a couple of pens and a sticker set, which later he would customise his iPhone with. He felt thirsty from being outside for a couple of minutes, so he went to the convenience store to grab a drink.

Water seemed more appropriate, or even an ice-cold soft drink would cool him down. But when he walked past the milk aisle, he swore the baby kicked. As if it was tempting him. He knew he wanted that god damn banana milk. The baby craved it just as much as he did. Sighing, he took two bottles of the yellow drink and paid for it. 

On the way out Kyungsoo bumped into someone, he couldn’t see them as the sun was blocking his view, and Kyungsoo has terrible eyesight. 

“Oh, Kyungsoo.” It was Jongin.

He was sweating just as much as Kyungsoo, wearing a shirt and jeans. Kyungsoo noticed Jongin was staring at his stomach, it was an awkward encounter as they hardly texted each other and it was the first time seeing each other since the summer holidays started.

“Hey, what brings you here?” Kyungsoo replied, punching the straw into the lid of his drink and taking a huge gulp that took half of the drink.

“I was just with Taemin, just shopping. What about you?”

“Fancied a drink. Baby only seems to want banana milk.” the elder winched, the baby's foot pressing into his ribcage.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin asked concerned.

“Kicking. Right in my rib cage.” Kyungsoo held his side, rubbing the area for a while to get the baby to calm down.

“Do you want to sit down?” Jongin gestured towards a park bench, the younger helped the pregnant male sit down and rubbed his hands together nervously. “Does it do it often?”

Kyungsoo relaxed, the baby was settling down and moved around. “Yeah, pretty much every day.”

“Will you be coming to school?” In a week school starts and Kyungsoo is dreading it. His principle knows about his pregnancy and is letting him have time off after the baby is born to rest. 

“Mhm… I’m nervous. Everyone will be looking at me. I’ve had to get my pants altered so they can fit me properly.” 

Jongin chuckled. He admired the bump, he wanted to put his hand on it, listen to the baby. He wanted to kiss the skin, all the stretch marks and massage the elder's sore feet. He thought Kyungsoo’s thighs looked soft and plump, the way Kyungsoo cradled his stomach made his heart flutter. 

“It will definitely be a shock, but after a week, no one will care.”

They sat for a while in the shade in comfortable silence, Kyungsoo loudly slurped his drink trying to get every last drop. 

“I heard there’s gonna be a back to school party at Chanyeol’s, will you be going?” Jongin broke the silence. 

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but laugh. “Not really a pregnant person’s thing. Besides, look what happened at the last one.” he gestured at his stomach.

Jongin nodded and bit his bottom lip with thought. “Are you sure about this?” 

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo frowned, his thick eyebrows scrunched up. 

The younger took a deep sigh and pushed his hair off his forehead. “I mean- Are you sure you don't want to keep it?”

“What?”

“Are you sure this is what you want? I mean, it’s our child… What about me?” Jongin feud. He could feel his chest getting tight and his tears would burst out any moment.

“What about you?! What about me! I’m the one carrying this child, it’s my body, my choice!” Kyungsoo argued, he stood up and Jongin followed, reaching out to grab his hand to stop him but Kyungsoo shook him off. “Don’t touch me.”

“Kyungsoo… Please don’t go.” Jongin cried, his voice shaking.

Kyungsoo didn’t say anything, he turned around and walked away leaving the father of his child distraught.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  


Walking down the corridors was the most awkward Kyungsoo had ever felt, the eyes of all his classmates staring at him with disgust and disbelieve. His school blazer couldn’t be fastened at the front and his stomach extremely visible in the cotton white shirt. He went to his locker and grabbed his books for class, hoping that Baekhyun would meet him outside before history started. 

The morning went slowly, his teachers acted strangely around him and his stomach wouldn’t stop growling at him during class which kept everyone turning around to stare at him. As soon as the lunch bell rang, he ran out the door to the cafeteria and got in line.

He slides his tray along, picking two of everything and sits at an empty table. Baekhyun soon arrives and sits opposite him chatting away with a mouthful of cheeseburger.

“God, why is everyone always staring at me?” Kyungsoo says.

“Well, you are kind of convex,” Baekhyun replies, making a round gesture near his stomach. 

“Wow, someone's been actually doing his geometry homework for once!”

“I don’t have a choice. Minseok’s been grading me really hard lately.” Baekhyun whined.

Kyungsoo gagged on his food. “Please do not refer to Mr Kim as "Minseok," okay? My barf reflex is already heightened these days.”

“Minseok’s hot.”

Kyungsoo side-eyed his best friend, in the corner of his eye he notices Jongin entering the canteen with Taemin and Sehun. He’s still upset with the younger and has been ignoring his texts for a few weeks now.

“Are you still ignoring him?” Baekhyun asked.

“What’s it to you?”

“Chanyeol told me he’s been really upset about it, he even cried at a party,” Baekhyun replied.

“You sure are spending a lot of time with Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo observed.

“I just happen to be friendly with everyone, I spend time with other people than you.” Baekhyun stuck out his tongue playfully. Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and continued eating his lunch, he could sense gazes around him and he wanted to just turn around and glare at everyone but he didn’t even have the mental energy to do so. He just wanted to get the rest of the day over and go to bed.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ A few weeks later _

  
  
  
  
  
  


“Are you sure this is going to work?” Chanyeol whispered. It was late and everyone including teachers had gone home. The school was eerie when empty, only a janitor roaming the hallways. 

“I-I don’t know. But I have to do something, I’ve texted him so much and he hasn’t replied.” Jongin whined.

“Well maybe you should just leave him alone, give him some space? You bugging him constantly is just going to make him madder.” Chanyeol explained, they were standing at Kyungsoo’s locker.

“I’m not good with words Chan, you know this. I’m gonna do this, and then wait for him.” Jongin replied. 

“Alright, but if I get in any trouble for this you owe me.” 

  
  
  
  
  


-

Kyungsoo wobbled his way down the corridor, he would have hoped by now the stares would have stopped but the bigger he got the longer the stares lasted. His uniform was so tight on him now that his shirts stretched over his stomach and the elastic waistband that was sewn onto his pants hugged his curves comfortably. 

He made his way to his locker where Baekhyun was waiting for him, Kyungsoo was late by 20 minutes as he had an early doctors appointment. Beansprout is growing healthy and he should have a normal delivery. 

“Could you walk any slower? Seriously I’ve been waiting for ages.” Baekhyun whined.

“Why don’t you try carrying a whole ass watermelon inside you for 9 months,” Kyungsoo grumbled, he knew that Baekhyun was only messing around but sometimes he really could be a real pain in the ass.

“Anyway, how was your appointment?”

“Fine I guess, just got to wait for the next five weeks to fly by and then I’ll be back to normal,” Kyungsoo said, he put in the code for his locker and opened it - but to his surprise - about 20-30 cartons of banana milk fell out of the locker, falling all over the floor around his feet.

“What the fuck,” He squealed loudly. Baekhyun stood in shock, looking around the corridor to see if what he was seeing was real.

“Who did that?” Kyungsoo said, he looked at his best friend who has the same confused expression as he did. 

No one would do such a thing, who the hell breaks into your locker to stuff banana milk in anyway? He pulled out the rest of the cartons to see if there was a note or anything, but there was nothing. He shrugged and put the drinks back into his locker, Baekhyun taking half to put into his own locker to share later.

“Do you have any idea who did that?” Baekhyun said, they were still standing in the corridor trying to comprehend what just happened.

Kyungsoo shook his head. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Hey, did you put like 30 cartons of banana milk in my locker?”

Jongin paused, he shifted his eyes away from the elder. “W-was it that obvious?”

“Not at first, you gave me and Baek a hell of a scare. I thought someone was playing a prank on me, calling me fat or something.” Kyungsoo replied.

“You’re not fat,” Jongin said.

They were outside the dance studio at their school, Jongin had just finished class and was a little sweaty. He stood awkwardly, unable to keep his eyes away from Kyungsoo’s bulging stomach. 

“Can I walk you home?” Jongin says after a short silence.

“I usually get the bus or metro, I can’t walk to Baekhyun’s anymore. Not like this anyway.” Kyungsoo patted his stomach.

“Oh… Well can I get the bus home with you?”

Kyungsoo smiles at Jongin, it’s the first time he’s really smiled at him. “Sure.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


The weather is cold, Kyungsoo kicks the orange leaves that have fallen on the grass. After they got off the bus, they took a slow walk around the park nearby Baekhyun’s home. Kyungsoo told Jongin everything about his parents, and that he was going to find an apartment after the baby was born.

“You could have called me… I would have gotten you.” Jongin said.

“I can’t put that burden on you or your family. I’ve known Baekhyun pretty much my whole life and his parents are okay with me staying there.” 

“Will you have the money to afford your own place?” Jongin asked, they went to the playground and sat on the swings, gently rocking. 

“I’ll just have to find a job, the adoptive parents offered me a sum of money for basically giving them my baby. I’m literally selling my child. Is this legal?” Kyungsoo frowned, the cold wind hit his face making him bury his nose and mouth into his scarf.

Jongin couldn’t help but laugh at Kyungsoo’s words. He got off the swing and stood behind the elder, putting his arms around his torso. 

“Is this okay?” he rubbed his hands to warm Kyungsoo up, the elder nodded and leaned back into his touch.

“I’m sorry for what I said. And I’m sorry for bugging you with my apologies.” Jongin said softly.

Kyungsoo giggled, making Jongin feel confused and stuck with a frown. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s not you, beansprout is dancing and it feels so weird.” Kyungsoo laughed, clutching his stomach. “Here!” He took hold of Jongin hand and unzipped his jacket to let his hand sit on his stomach.

At first, the younger couldn’t feel anything, but after a couple of seconds, he felt it.

_ Tap tap tap tap. _

Like fairy wings, fluttering against soft skin. Jongin beamed, his eyes turning into crescents as he smiled. His baby was kicking for  _ him _ . 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo was getting close to his due date, he finished school at 8 months giving him 4 weeks to prepare, he wouldn’t be attending in the new year as he would be looking for work once the baby is born. 

He was bored though, being stuck at home with nothing to do, the Byun’s were at work and Baekhyun was either at school or hanging out with friends. Kyungsoo was invited, but he was struggling to walk and his bladder was full every 20 minutes. He didn’t want to be awkward and have people look after him when he got himself into this mess. 

He became lonely, indulging himself with dramas and computer games. Jongin would text him pretty much every day to see how he was, which Kyungsoo thought was sweet. 

Kyungsoo swung his legs over the bed and changed into something warm, there wasn't any snow yet so it was safe for him to take a walk without the risk of slipping. Feeling miserable, he walked around the park and sat at a cafe with a hot chocolate, it was quiet, only a few people studying on their laptops. 

He took out his phone and messaged Jongin. 

To: Jongin: _ What are you doing? _

The pregnant male let out a big sigh, he finished his hot drink in silence and took a slow walk home. Just passing the park, he saw a spray of lilac cosmos’s peaking through the grass. Smiling, he bent down - with a lot of difficulties - and plucked a single stem. Kyungsoo twirled the flower in his fingers, admiring the colours.

Beansprout started to kick, so Kyungsoo unzipped his puffy coat and stroked his belly with the petals of the flower kissing the bump. 

When he goes home, he runs himself a bath with oils and lights a few candles. He stands in front of the mirror naked and looks at his stomach, his body has changed so much. Not just his stomach, his legs, his arse and even his chest was fuller. He traces the stretch marks with his finger, the purple scars had become bigger which stood out against his fair skin. 

He sighed, turning to the side. Beansprout was lying in a weird position which made his bump look like he was carrying an alien, unlike the usual round ball his stomach usually has.

“God, I’m a mess,”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Kyungsoo is pacing in his room, he is a day over his due date and beansprout is hanging back. He is so uncomfortable that he wants to cry, his back killing him and his bladder is being pressed on constantly. 

He read online that there were many things to help bring the labour on, so he drank some weird herbal tea and took a long hot bath. He then ate some spicy chicken for lunch to see if that gave beansprout a push but nothing, just a small kick to his rib cage. He decided to go and bother Baekhyun and complain, since he had nothing else to do.

He barged into his room, not bothering to knock and threw himself, slowly, onto his best friends bed. Baekhyun was sitting at his desk, playing League of Legends. 

“Oh yes please, do come in.” the younger mumbled, eyes stuck to his screen.

“I’m bored, can you just like, pull this baby out of me,” Kyungsoo whined, pulling at his hair. 

“You’re supposed to be resting, you know, to get your body ready for birth.” 

“If I ever give birth.”

The game ended, his team won and he spun his chair around to face the elder. 

“Kyungsoo, just go take a walk or something. I’ve gotta be somewhere soon, so you’ll have to find someone else to annoy.” 

Kyungsoo pouted, pushing himself up and heading to leave the room. “You’re no fun.”

  
  
  


He took the advice and wrapped up warmly, his breathing made a puff of smoke every time he exhaled into the cold, bitter air. It’s dark but the snow lights up the streets.

Dressed in sweatpants, an oversized hoodie and an enormous padded coat which reached past his knees, he looked like a penguin waddling through the snow, taking small steps. He walked around the block, watching kids playing in the snow and making snowmen, and passed a few cafes filled with couples drinking coffee and hot chocolate in the warmth. 

Kyungsoo felt a pang in his chest. He wondered if he would be with someone if he wasn’t pregnant, and he wondered if anyone would want to be with him knowing he had a child and gave it away. He sniffles, burying his face into the collar of his coat. 

He’s about to turn left to go back to Baekhyun’s when he sees Jongin and his friends in the short distance coming out of a restaurant, they were happy, laughing with a glow on their cheeks. They probably had a few drinks for the holiday, he wishes he was out having a meal with his friends instead of walking the cold streets alone.

He decides not to bother Jongin, leaving him be. He turns back but his movement caught Jongin’s eye. 

“Kyungsoo!” 

He turned back to find Jongin sprinting towards him, his friends left behind to smoke, staring at him and his belly.

“How are you?” he said smiling down.

Kyungsoo shifted his eyes in discomfort. “Spectacular.” 

“You should be inside, it’s freezing.” 

“I was inside, but I’m so fucking uncomfortable I can’t do anything! I want to sleep, but I can’t. I want to drink beer and smoke and do teenage things but I fucking can’t! It’s so unfair.” Kyungsoo shouts, not directly at Jongin but at the world for being so unkind to him. 

“I’m sorry Soo. You want to go grab a hot drink?” Jongin rubs his arm with comfort. 

Just as Kyungsoo can make up his mind, he feels something really strange. Wide eyes, he stares down at his legs, noticing the material of his sweatpants staining dark.

“Are you okay?” Jongin asked, bending his knees slightly to be at his level.

“ithinkmywatersjustbroke.” 

“Huh?”

“Either I’ve just pissed myself or—”

Jongin catches on quickly, he panics a little bit is quick to flag down a taxi and help Kyungsoo in. He doesn’t bother telling his friends that he’s about to be a father, asking the driver to go steady as the roads are slippery.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Where is Baekhyun?! He said he would be here!” Kyungsoo screamed, clutching his stomach. He was being wheeled into a private room with Jongin tailing worriedly behind. He had never seen someone in so much pain before, he didn’t know what to do. 

He helped the nurse undress Kyungsoo and put him into a gown, once he was laid on the bed another nurse came in and began checking his blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat. Jongin stood beside him feeling useless, he wanted to take the pain away from Kyungsoo but there wasn’t anything he could do.

“I’m scared, I don’t want to do this!” Kyungsoo cried, tears streamed down his cheeks and his damp hair stuck to his forehead. Jongin took his hand and knelt down to be at his level. 

“I’m here, you can do this okay? I’ve got you.” His said softly, stroking the hair out of his eyes.

“Please don’t leave me.”

“I’ll never leave you,” Jongin replied.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  


“It’s been so long, where is Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo cried. His body was taking a long time to get ready for birth, he felt like he had been there for hours waiting. Jongin had been trying to call Baekhyun constantly but received no answer. He didn’t know what to do.

“I’m sorry, I can’t get hold of him. Should I contact the adopting parents?” Jongin asked, he pulled up a chair next to Kyungsoo and helped assist him with the gas and air machine. 

Kyungsoo shook his head. “No, I don’t want them here. W-Will you stay with me?” 

Jongin leaned down and kissed his forehead softly. “I told you I’ll never leave you. We’ve got this.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  


Jongin thought that he wouldn’t be able to do this. He thought he would faint or feel useless, but when Kyungsoo’s contractions became closer and more painful he went into protect mode and wanted to do whatever he could. When Kyungsoo was told to begin pushing, he let him squeeze his hand as hard as he wanted, he didn’t care. As long as it took away the pain. 

“Okay big pushes now,” the nurse said, she was young and had a gentle voice. 

Kyungsoo pushed down as hard as he could, he clenched his jaw and cried after each break. Sweat ran down his temples and he was already exhausted. He pushed every time the nurse told him to, but he couldn’t feel the baby crowning. 

“It hurts too much,” Kyungsoo stopped pushing midway, collapsing back with deep breaths. He began to cry, thick tears meeting the sweat on his pores. Jongin soothes him as best as he could, continuing to stroke his hair and tell him how wonderful he’s doing. 

“You’re doing so beautifully, just try a little more okay sweetie?” Jongin said, he didn’t care anymore about the pet names and the kisses, he just wanted Kyungsoo to be okay. 

He pushed again, and again, and again. 

“I’m tired,” He cried hysterically. 

“I know you are, the baby’s crowning now. Just a few more pushes and it will be over.” the nurse soothed. 

Kyungsoo felt weak, he struggled to keep his legs apart and was beginning to shake. “Here, Appa come and help him hold his legs.” 

Jongin didn’t hesitate and held Kyungsoo's thigh, he could see the head of the baby almost breaching. Sex ed always grossed him out, especially the lessons where they had to watch people giving birth. But this was different, it wasn’t disgusting or ugly. It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. 

When the baby’s head was born Jongin could see how much thick dark hair he had. 

The rest of the body came out quickly, within seconds. 

He was dazed, the baby was right here in front of him wailing on the foot of the bed. He was passed a pair of medical scissors and he cut the cord. It was a boy.

A son. 

The most beautiful, tiny little thing he’d ever seen. An almost clone of Kyungsoo except for his nose. 

“It’s a boy,” he managed to say, Kyungsoo smiled down at him. 

He let the nurses take the newborn away to be cleaned, Jongin held Kyungsoo with a loving embrace. He pulled away and held his face in his hands. 

“I can’t believe you did that, I’m so proud of you.” he kissed his cheeks and forehead, one on the nose and then a small feather-light kiss on his lips. 

“Where is he?” Kyungsoo said tiredly. 

“He’s being cleaned and weighed and then he’ll be in the nursery.” the nurse who delivered the baby said. 

Once the afterbirth was out and Kyungsoo was in a cleaner bed, he felt himself shifting in and out of sleep. Jongin stayed right beside him, holding his hand and whispering sweet nothings to him about how wonderful he is and how beautiful their son is. 

“You should rest,” Jongin soothed. 

“I’m not tired, I want to see him.” 

“I’m not sure if you're allowed, did it say in the contract?” Jongin asked.

Kyungsoo shook his head, “I guess you’re right.”

  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Kyungsooo woke up five hours later, he noticed that Jongin was still beside him but his head was resting on the bed by his side. He was in a deep sleep, he had dark circles under his eyes. Kyungsoo stroked his hair softly and smiled at his sleeping face. He admired his handsome features and felt his heart flutter, he thought about the soft kisses and supple words.

Jongin was the kindest, most honourable person he knew. Anyone would be mad to not fall for him, and Kyungsoo fell hard.

He always saw him around school and thought he was hot, and when they hooked up his heart was beating so hard, a mix of lust and love. During his pregnancy, Jongin was nothing but understanding and helpful. He treated Kyungsoo like he was his absolute world. Kyungsoo didn’t understand why, since he caused so much stress to him. 

Jongin woke up with a small string of drool connecting from his mouth to his hand, when he saw Kyungsoo was awake he beamed with tired eyes.

“You’re up.” He grumbled, wiping the sleep from his eyes.

“Mhm.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Tired. Hungry. I want to have a bath.” Kyungsoo replied, he felt icky and his stomach rumbled. He noticed his stomach had gone down a little bit.

“I’ll grab us something from the canteen,” Jongin said, he stood up and stretched his limbs out until his back made a satisfying crack. Before he left the room, he turned around and smiled at the elder.

Kyungsoo’s heart combusted. That wonderful, bright smile. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


He was alone for a long time, Jongin was probably on the phone to his parents explaining why he’s not home. Kyungsoo was left alone with his thoughts and he was terrified of it.

He couldn’t stop thinking about the baby.

When he laid his eyes on his son, he felt an overwhelming sensation of joy yet guilt. He couldn’t believe how beautiful he was, so tiny, so vulnerable. It was like he was blinded the whole time he was pregnant, but now he didn’t see the baby as an ugly gremlin, but the most precious little thing.

His own flesh and blood.

His beautiful boy.

He wipes his tears, it was the hormones. This wasn’t real, these feelings. He made a decision, and he must stick by it. He couldn’t keep it, he knew that.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

  
  
  
  
  
  


When Jongin returned he was carrying two bento boxes and a bottle of water for Kyungsoo.

“Sorry I took so long, I was talking to my parents.”

“Did you tell them?” Kyungsoo replied, he began eating.

“Ah, no. I just said a friend’s sick and I’m visiting.”

Kyungsoo nodded, he understood. He didn’t want his parents to disown him as his own did. Jongin didn’t deserve that. It’s not like they are keeping their baby anyway.

They ate in silence, a strange tension in the air. Kyungsoo stared at the cannula in his hand and picked at his hospital band. 

Their awkward silence was interrupted when a nurse entered the room to announce that Kyungsoo had a visitor. 

He hoped it was Baekhyun, as he wanted to know why he didn’t turn up and he could do with seeing a friendly face, but instead, it was the Lee’s. Carrying a bouquet of peonies and big smiles on their faces. 

“Kyungsoo! You did it, you gave us a son! And on Christmas Eve too!” Eun said wiping her tears, Jongin pulled out two chairs for them to sit and went back to his own seat. 

“Are you the father? My goodness, you’re handsome!” Eun said. Jongin blushed as he shook their hands.

“Have… Have you seen him?” Kyungsoo asked.

“We’re not allowed to see him yet, we still have more paperwork to fill out,” DaeJun replied.

They asked all about how the birth went and if he had any complications, Kyungsoo didn’t have much to say so Jongin did most of the talking. 

He was tired. 

He was tired and he wanted to be alone. 

He looked at the couple, they seemed so happy. So content. He felt sick, thoughts of his son were swimming through his head, he felt trapped. 

“Kyungsoo?”

He snapped out of his daze and looked at Jongin.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah… Sorry, I’m tired. Do you mind if I rest?” 

“Sure!” said Eun, “We can go get coffee from the canteen and when you’re ready I’ll call our attorney so we can make the final steps to the adoption!” 

The three of them left, leaving Kyungsoo alone with his thoughts, he rolled over onto his side, letting the tears fall down his cheeks and onto the pillow. He wanted to scream, to grab his son and make a run for it. His body felt numb and the tears didn’t stop.

  
  
  
  


Jongin had forgotten his wallet, so he left the Lee’s in the cafeteria and snuck into the room hoping to not wake up Kyungsoo.

When he opened the door, he heard faint sniffles and soft crying. He walked closer to the bed to see Kyungsoo in a fetal position with tears pouring down his face. 

“K-Kyungsoo…”

Without saying anything, or asking questions, Jongin slipped off his sneakers and climbed on the bed, spooning the elder. When Kyungsoo felt arms being wrapped around his stomach he cried harder, louder, as if he didn’t care who heard his heartbreaking. 

Jongin held him tighter and felt his own tears escaping, the two cried together. 

When Kyungsoo had calmed down a bit, Jongin stroked his hair and nuzzled his face into his neck. 

“I can’t do this Jongin.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Kyungsoo took a deep breath and turned around to face the younger. 

“I mean this. The adoption.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t want to go through it, I want to keep our baby.” Kyungsoo cried, he could feel his heart literally breaking, the pain in his chest hurt was unbearable.

“Y-You want to keep him?” Jongin asked, “What made you change your mind?”

He stroked Kyungsoo’s hair to try and calm him down.

“I-I don’t know I… When I saw him, saw you cutting his cord, it just hit me. That’s my baby, no one else’s. He belongs with me, with us.” 

Jongin let Kyungsoo take his time, not interrupting or asking too many questions to confuse him. 

“My body misses him, my chest is leaking for him. A sudden wave of realization hit me when I pushed him out of me, he needs me as much as I need him. I can’t abandon my own child, my own parents discriminated against me and left me alone. I’m not going to do that to him.”

“What about the adoptive parents?”

“There are final forms I haven’t filled out, I can’t tell them the news… I don’t even care about that. I just want to hold my baby, feed him, and apologize for considering of giving him up.” 

Jongin felt tears brim in his eyes, all he ever wanted was happening right now. To raise their baby. 

When Kyungsoo told him the news he was giving him up for adoption his heart tore in two. It was the most heartbreaking thing to deal with and he didn’t have a say in any of it. He spent weeks, months crying himself to sleep, he was on the edge of depression, failing his dance classes and not eating. 

“Kyungsoo…” Jongin burst into tears. “I’m so happy.”

The two laid in the small hospital bed for a while, crying tears of joy and pain, apologizing over and over to each other. 

“I’m… I’m going to get our son.” Jongin said after a while, he leaned forward and kissed Kyungsoo on the lips, a soft and gentle kiss. Kyungsoo kissed back, letting Jongin thread his fingers through his own. When they pulled away, Jongin stood up and left the room to find a nurse to bring them their son. 

  
  
  


Jongin came back in less than 2 minutes. The nurse who delivered his baby tailed in the room after him with a puzzled look on his face. 

“Am I hearing this correctly? You want to cancel the adoption?” 

“Yes,”

“Well it’s not really my business, but you need to discuss it with the family and have your contract cancelled, in the meantime, I’ll get your baby ready for you.” she smiled at the two and left.

Jongin went to fetch the Lee’s back and Kyungsoo sat by the window in complete misery. He didn’t know if he could find the courage in him to tell them the news, he would be tearing a family apart by his own selfish needs. He massaged his head, trying to think positive about his baby. 

  
  
  
  


When the Lee’s arrived, they could tell something was wrong. Their usual chirpy selves were anxious and quiet. 

“Kyungsoo, Jongin said you need to talk to us, is everything okay?”

“I erm… I don’t know how to say this. I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for me, paying for my medical bills and being a supportive family to me…”

Kyungsoo trembled, he couldn’t look at them. Jongin sat beside him and took his hands in his own to comfort him. 

“What I mean is, Jongin and I have done lots of talking. And well… We don’t want to go ahead with the adoption anymore.”

_ Silence. _

DaeJun stood still staring at him, while Eun had crouched down to the floor in a kneeling position. Kyungsoo wanted to go to them and beg for their forgiveness. But he felt glued to his seat, completely not knowing what to say that could be any comfort. 

“Why?” Eun whispered. 

“Well, we realized we were making a mistake,” Jongin said for both of them. 

“All I ever wanted was to be a mother,” Eun said, her husband comforted her as tears escaped both their eyes. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  


The Lee’s took a long time leaving, begging Kyungsoo to change his mind and that he’s just hormonal. They pleaded with him, offering him money and even an open adoption so he could see the baby anytime he wanted to. 

Kyungsoo cries when they did leave, the huge weight of guilt crushing him. Jongin could only do nothing but reassure him that they made the best decision.

They laid together on the tiny hospital bed, they had both only slept a few hours each and it felt like they had been at the hospital for a week. Kyungsoo gave birth four hours ago, but the separation from his son felt like years. 

The two were brought back from their thoughts when the door open, revealing a nurse they had never met and a tiny blanket in her arms.

“Are you ready to meet your son?”

Kyungsoo beamed, sitting up more comfortably and let the nurse gently settle the baby in his arms. 

“Oh my god,” Kyungsoo cried, he kissed the baby’s head. “He’s so beautiful.”

Jongin started crying too, their precious son was fast asleep and in warm clothes. He had Kyungsoo’s eye shape and his lovely thick lips. His hair was dark and stuck up in all different directions. Jongin traced his thumb over the baby’s cheek and then to his little hand which he soon grasped. 

“He looks like you,” Jongin said.

“He does. Look at how small his ears are, one of them is pointy from laying on it in my womb.” Kyungsoo giggles, sniffling back tears.

“Do you have a name?” the nurse asked, she had a file of the baby’s information but he didn’t have a name.

“Oh, I don’t actually know. We never even considered it… you know in our circumstances.” Jongin replied. “Is there a name you like?” he turned to Kyungsoo who hadn’t taken his eyes off the sleeping baby.

“There is one name I like, but I want your say in it too.”

“What is it?”

“Joon.” 

“It’s perfect,” Jongin replied, smiling down at his son. “Doh Joon.”

“Kim Joon.” Kyungsoo corrected him.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo refused to let go of Joon until the nurses forced him to bathe, he let the nurses take him back to the nursery to rest while Jongin helped him. 

Once he was cleaned and into a pair of pj’s, Jongin went back to the nursery to get Joon. 

The newborn was crying when he came in, so Kyungsoo took hold of him and brought him close to his body, rocking his gently and patting his back. Joon continued to cry, if not even louder. 

“I think it’s time for his lunch!” a nurse came past the door after hearing the cries. “We’ve been feeding him on formula while you were recovering and he’s taking it well, do you want some more?” 

“Actually, I want to try and feed him myself,” Kyungsoo replied shyly. 

The nurse showed him how to hold Joon while feeding him, the baby took Kyungsoo’s nipple and began to feed straight away without any complications. 

“This feels weird.” he giggled, Jongin took his phone out his bag, ignoring all the missed calls and texts on the screen. 

“Do you want me to take some pictures of you?” 

“Oh! Yes! But please try not to get my face in, I look terrible.” Kyungsoo mumbled, brushing his hair away from his face.

“You look pretty.” 

  
  
  
  


After Kyungsoo had put Joon to sleep, the two sat and talked about their future.

“I can’t live at Baekhyun’s with a newborn, it’s not fair.”

“You can stay with me,” Jongin replied, he was holding Joon while he slept.

“What about your parents?” 

“They will be mad, but they will understand and help.” 

Kyungsoo sighed, he had no money, no house, nothing. 

“What about Joon? I don’t have any money, he needs clothes, diapers… oh god and the medical bill!”

Jongin chuckled “Hey, relax okay? Just let me take care of it. I want to take care of you, both of you.”

Kyungsoo smiled at the younger, he finally felt himself doze off. He was relaxed, he had his son, Jongin was with him and never left just like he promised. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Kyungsoo woke up to the most annoying sound. It made him jump up in bed, with wide eyes. 

It was Baekhyun.

And he was screaming.

Why was he screaming?

Oh, he was holding his son. The son who was supposedly taken up for adoption.

“You have a baby!” he cried, strolling through the room.

“I do.”

“I saw Jongin on the way here, he told me all about it. I can’t believe it!” 

“Wait,” Kyungsoo realized Jongin wasn’t there. “Do you know where he went?”

“I think home. Said he had some stuff to sort out.” Baekhyun replied, he sat on the edge of the bed peering at the newborn. “Well, aren't you gonna introduce me to my nephew?!”

Kyungsoo chuckled, he gently laid the baby on the bed and untucked the blanket so they could see him better. 

“I named him Joon.”

“He looks like you.” 

Joon started to wake up, large curious eyes looking around the room and at the two people leaning over him pulling silly faces. He yawned, stretched his legs and arms and began sucking the pacifier Kyungsoo gave him. 

“He’s so cute, I can’t believe you made something so adorable!” 

Kyungsoo slapped his arm.

“I meant in a good way! Anyway, you have to tell me everything.” 

Kyungsoo told his best friend everything, from birth to realizing he was making a mistake and telling the Lee’s about his change of mind. He cried, letting tears fall down his cheeks as he told him how devastated they were and that he can’t forgive himself for it. 

“I wasted their time.”

Baekhyun put an arm around the elder, “No you didn’t. You didn’t know this would happen. Sometimes things just happen and we don’t know why. You won’t feel guilty about this forever.” 

As if Joon could sense his mother’s tears, he began to cry too. Kyungsoo cradled him and pulled down his gown, letting him latch onto his chest. 

“Jesus you’ve got tits, you’ll need a bra.” Baekhyun laughed, causing Kyungsoo into a fit of giggles himself.

“Where were you?”

The atmosphere changed, the only sound in the room was Joon’s sucking noises. 

“I can explain. It’s a funny story.” 

“I needed you Baek, but Jongin was so good to me,” Kyungsoo argued.

“I know, I’m so sorry. I’ve been erm… seeing someone. And I left my phone on silent.” 

“You mean you were fucking someone while I gave birth?” 

Baekhyun played with the hair at his nape. “Erm… if you put it that way I guess.” 

Kyungsoo burst into laughter, leaving his best friend confused.

“I wanna be mad but I just can’t, look at how beautiful he is.” 

The two sat staring at Joon who looked around the room in a complete daze, wiggling his legs.

“Who is it? Do I know him?” 

“It’s Chanyeol.” Baekhyun's face turned beet red, including his ears. “All the times I said I was going to see friends I was with Chanyeol.” 

“Whoa. I mean- I’m kinda not surprised. You talk about him a lot, I mean you talk a lot in general.”

Joon has finished feeding and Kyungsoo moved him to burp him, at first he didn’t know how to do it, or even change his diaper but Jongin helped him as he has a niece and nephew. Kyungsoo let Jongin give him his first bath as he was terrified of him slipping out of his hands. 

Joon was a sleepy baby, Kyungsoo had only seen him open his eyes twice. He liked skin contact with Kyungsoo and being swaddled. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here Soo.” Baekhyun apologized.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m doing fine and should be able to go home in a few days. I have stitches so I need to rest.” 

“Will you be coming back to mine? Because you’re more than welcome to. Don’t think we’re gonna kick you out because you bought home a baby.” 

Kyungsoo smiled at his best friend, Joon had fallen asleep after being burped and he let Baekhyun hold him. 

“Jongin said I can stay with him, I’m going to need his help.” 

Baekhyun took out his iPhone and took selfies of himself with Joon, bunny filter and everything. 

“When I passed Jongin on the way here, I stopped off at e-mart and got you some bits.” He nodded to the bag by the chair. 

Kyungsoo stepped out of bed, adjusting his gown and picked up the bag. He emptied the contents on the bed, there was a pair of pyjamas and sweats, underwear, cosmetics and a pack of diapers, bibs and babygrows. The last things were snacks and banana milk.

“Thank you.” 

“See it as a Christmas present. I gotta get home, my Grandparents are coming over for the holidays.”

“Tell your parents I said hi. And I’ll arrange with you to collect my things.” Kyungsoo replied, he took Joon from Baekhyun’s arms and placed him in his small cot.

“Merry Christmas!” Baekhyun cheered, hugging Kyungsoo and leaving a soft kiss on Joon’s cheek. 

“Merry Christmas to you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  


Jongin didn’t return to the hospital until Boxing day. Kyungsoo spent Christmas on his own, but he didn’t mind as the nurses took extra care of him and he lazes around in the soft pyjama’s Baekhyun gifted him watching Christmas movies.

He was anxious about spending the first night away from Jongin, he was scared he wouldn’t hear Joon crying or something would happen and he didn’t know what to do. But he managed well, Joon woke up a few times in the night to be fed and cuddled, in the end, Kyungsoo gave up getting in and out of bed so he slept with Joon in his arms. 

Jongin arrived around lunchtime, with bags of baby clothes and a hot chocolate for Kyungsoo. 

“How was your first night?” 

Kyungsoo sipped his hot drink and admired all the clothes Jongin bought, he had a funny taste. Most of the items had little bears on, including a pair of tiny slippers with fuzzy baby bears on them.

“It was okay. Joon slept well, we had a good night.” 

Jongin picked up the baby and held him close to his chest and neck. He walked around the room, standing by the window telling Joon about all the things outside. The baby just stared at his father with a blank expression. He sat down on a chair and pulled up close to the bed. 

“I owe you an apology, I left without saying anything.” 

“Jongin, you have nothing to be sorry for. You don’t have to stay here with me, you have your own life and it is the holidays.” Kyungsoo replied, although deep down he was kinda hurt that he left without leaving a note or texting him.

“I meant to come back quickly, but I had trouble with my parents. They didn’t take the news too well.” Jongin sighed. “They are mad. Fuming. But I am their son and they love me and they want to help. My sister owns a small apartment she rents out to tenants and it’s available right now, she said we can stay there and the rent will be cheap since I’m her brother.” 

“Really? How will we pay for the rent, I have no money.” Kyungsoo replied.

“Don’t worry about that, I told you I would sort things out. I have savings, I worked during the summer vacation and I’m going to drop out of school and get a job to support you both.” 

“No! Jongin, no!” Kyungsoo gasped. “I appreciate everything you have done, you have no idea how grateful I am. You’ve given us a home, but you cannot drop out for us! You have a future ahead of you, don’t let us get in the way.” 

“Don’t you understand?! You are my future! Damnit, Kyungsoo!” Jongin argued back. 

Kyungsoo began to cry quietly, leaving Jongin feeling miserable and confused. He was trying to help! He didn’t want Kyungsoo to be mad, he should be happy for choosing them over his career. 

“Look, Soo. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” Jongin soothed, he put Joon down to sleep and climbed onto the bed and let Kyungsoo curl into him. “Thing is, while I was at home I did a lot of thinking, and I realized that this is what I want. I want to be with you every day, and Joon. I want to raise our son together.”

“What are you saying?” Kyungsoo sniffled.

“I mean- I think, I love you, Kyungsoo.” 

“You- eh?!” 

“I love you. I have for so long, I don’t know when exactly, but when I saw you carrying my child inside you, it made me fall in love with you. You’re so funny and weird, and beautiful. So beautiful. You make me feel wonderful and I can’t stop myself from being around you.” Jongin confessed.

Kyungsoo was crying again, but this time happy tears. 

“Jongin… I think I love you too.” 

Jongin wiped the tears from Kyungsoo’s cheeks and then leaned in, gently pressing his lips on Kyungsoo’s own. He kissed him again, and again and again. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around his shoulders and pulled him in for a deeper kiss. It was wet and passionate, when they pulled apart Kyungsoo couldn’t help but giggle.

Jongin rubbed their noses together, staring deep into his eyes. “You’re so beautiful.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


-

  
  
  
  
  
  


One month later.

  
  


Jongin, Kyungsoo and Joon moved into the small apartment from Jongin’s older sister. She used it during university, and it was fully finished and decorated nicely. 

It was a one bedroom, the apartment was above a cafe so it was sometimes noisy outside at certain times but the couple didn’t mind. Joon sleeps in his cot beside his parents' bed, since he doesn’t have his own room they made a corner for him with pictures on the walls and shelves of stuffed animals. 

Jongin dropped out of school and started working at a convenience store that was a 3 minute walk away, sometimes he did nights for the extra money. He enjoyed work, even though it was exhausting he didn’t care because it was all for his boyfriend and son. 

Living with Kyungsoo was everything he always wanted, he always looked forward to eating Kyungsoo’s cooking and they would spend the evening’s cuddled on the sofa in front of the TV playing with Joon and babbling to him.

Every night he slept with Kyungsoo in his arms, or sometimes Joon in the middle of them while the elder fed him in the middle of the night and was too tired to put him back in his crib. 

They were getting used to parenthood, the routines and sleepless nights. It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows, they had dark days. 

When they first moved in, Kyungsoo became incredibly paranoid that Joon would be taken away from him. He didn’t sleep and cried every time someone knocked on the door. He started to think that the Lee’s would report him to child services would take Joon away. Which is complete nonsense, but Kyungsoo was adamant that it would happen. Due to the sleepless nights and the trauma of giving birth, it was only natural for him to feel that way, after Jongin constantly reassuring him and letting him sleep in longer, taking care of the baby, soon Kyungsoo was feeling a lot better.

Jongin loved being a father. He showed his little family off everywhere he could. 

Kyungsoo struggled going out with Joon. The stares and whispering bothered him, and the couple would often see their old classmates who pointed or laughed behind their backs. But Jongin was always there to glare back at them and to tell them where to stick it. 

Once the harsh winter had left and spring arrived, Joon was already smiling showing the most beautiful smile. At weekends they would meet Baekhyun and Chanyeol and a few of Jongin’s friends and go to Han River with a picnic and spend the whole day there.

It was a Wednesday and Jongin had the day off, he suggested going shopping as Joon needed bigger clothes. Kyungsoo was anxious, he just couldn’t cope at times out in public it was becoming a problem. 

“Babe, we’ll take the subway or even a taxi and go to Gangnam or somewhere you’re more comfortable with. We don’t have to go somewhere nearby if you don’t want to.” Jongin explained, he watched Kyungsoo dress Joon into his outfit of the day - little overalls with a pocket at the front shaped like a bear with a matching hat.

“I just… I don’t want to be too long,” Kyungsoo sighed. He packed Joon’s bag with a change of clothes, because Joon was a rather sicky baby and threw up almost every day, diapers, toys and everything they would need.

“It’s good for Joon to get out once in a while, the fresh air will be good for all of us.” 

  
  
  
  


They headed to an underground shopping mall that was connected to the subway line. It wasn’t too busy for the time, they looked around the little stores and bought matching socks for the couple and a pair for Joon in the baby section. 

Kyungsoo admired the street food vendor, from delicious sticks of fish cake, spicy rice cake and egg bread. 

“Do you wanna eat something?” Jongin asked.

Kyungsoo shook his head “No, I shouldn’t really.” 

“What do you want? You should eat, it’s important for Joon to get his nutrients from your milk.” 

He looked at his son fast asleep in his stroller, it was only a month since he gave birth but his body was still the same. He gained extra weight and he felt so chunky and miserable with his appearance. He didn’t let Jongin see him naked, especially his stomach. The purple stretch marks scarred thick and deep across the whole area. He had some kind of sack under his navel which was stretchy and saggy, it made him feel disgusting. His doctor said it would take a few months for his body to go back to normal, so he was holding onto that little bit of hope.

Pouting, he looked at Jongin’s sparkling eyes. “J-just one fish cake. I can’t eat anything spicy, it upsets Jon’s stomach.” 

“Just one?! My darling needs to eat more to feed my baby boy. You’re having two.” Jongin chirped, paying for four fish cakes and a bottle of water to share.

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but laugh at how silly Jongin can be sometimes. He was so glad Jongin had humor as well as his good looks because not everyone is that lucky. 

They walked around after eating, Kyungsoo admired all the pretty clothing and then walked to the large baby store that was connected to the mall. 

They were on a tight budget, but the store was cheap and a lot of things where second hand. The couple didn’t mind, as babies grow fast and Joon won’t need clothes to last a long time. Jongin being Jongin, picked out anything that had animals printed on. Kyungsoo checked out toys and a walker that would be good for him when he takes his first steps.

“Soo! What about this?” Kyungsoo turned around to see Jongin holding a straw summer hat with an apple stem and leaf coming out the top. 

“I love it.” he giggled, he could just see Joon wearing it with a pair of overalls in the summertime.

“What about you, you haven’t picked out any clothes,”

“Oh, there are a few things I like…” Kyungsoo replied, he took him to a unisex area and showed him some pink outfits with matching headbands.

“I know it’s pink, but it’s unisex and a lot of baby boys wear pink nowadays and I want him to be able to wear whatever he’s comfortable with. My parents disowned me for the things I wore.” 

“It’s just a colour babe, if he decides when he’s older he wants to wear princess dresses then so be it. I think boys with headbands look really cute anyway” Jongin replied, he picked out a handful of headbands in different colours, adding it to their cart. 

They ended up with two bags full of clothing, a walker and some second-hand toys. Jongin carried Joon in his baby carrier close to his chest while they put their items in the stroller instead of carrying them around. 

“I need to find a seating area or a baby room so I can feed Joon, he is due for his lunch now,” Kyungsoo said, it was getting busier and he didn’t want to feed Joon in public so they went to a quiet cafe and sat at the back away from everyone. 

Jongin got them both a milk tea and sat enjoying the peace, the only noise was the coffee machine and Joon’s suckling. The baby had put on weight in a month and would often tap Kyungsoo’s chest while he was feeding with his whole hand, a sign of comfort. 

“What do you want to do after this?” Jongin asked.

“Honestly, I wanna go home, put on a movie and cuddle with you.” Kyungsoo replied, Joon unlatched from his nipple and curled into his mother’s chest to fall back asleep. 

Jongin smiled at the idea, “That sounds wonderful. Let’s get takeaway too. What do you fancy?”

“Jajangmyeong.” 

“Excellent choice.”

  
  
  
  
  


Joon was tucked away in his crib, and the couple were digging into their dinner in front of the TV. They chose a comedy, and it had started to snow outside. Their apartment was warm though, they used hacks to keep the drafts out by taping bubble wrap to the windows and using electric blankets when the nights are crisp. 

“Kyungsoo?”

The elder turned to face Jongin, he had Jajangmyeong sauce on his bottom lip. 

“What?”

“I love you.”

Kyungsoo blushed from his cheeks to his ears, he wiped away the sauce with his thumb and pressed it against Jongin’s lips. 

“I love you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


6 months later 

Joon was attempting to crawl, he could turn himself around from laying on his back onto his stomach but couldn’t quite master crawling. Jongin was adamant that their baby would be crawling any day now and would try to encourage him with toys or snacks. Joon laughed a lot, especially at Jongin but would find comfort in Kyungsoo when he was tired or hungry. 

The summer was hot and Kyungsoo wished he could wear crop tops and shorts like he used to before he fell pregnant but he has no confidence anymore. His body hadn’t gone back to how it was before like the doctors said, and he refused to let Jongin see him changing. They hadn’t made love since Joon was made, a few kisses here and there but Kyungsoo feels sick if Jongin tries to touch him. 

What if he feels his stomach and is repulsed by the saggy skin? What if he sees how much weight he gained on his thighs? What if he sees how purple his nipples are from feeding and the hundreds of stretch marks painting his skin? 

Jongin never once tried to go too far while they would kiss, he knew that Kyungsoo wasn’t ready, and he was prepared to wait for him. He wanted it to be special since their first time was drunk and most of the night they couldn’t remember. Regardless of their non-existent sex life Jongin was falling more and more in love with Kyungsoo. 

He would sometimes come home late from work and see Joon curled into Kyungsoo's chest, both fast asleep in bed. The sight always made his heart flutter, he didn’t have it in him to put Joon back in his crib so would silently crawl onto the other side of the bed and hold them both from behind. 

Tonight he came home to Kyungsoo asleep on the sofa with Joon laying on his chest, sucking on his pacifier softly. The baby was getting chubbier by the day, his cheeks resembled a hamster at times. Jongin smiled at the two and quietly picked Joon up as gently as possible without waking him, he curled his face into his father’s neck and Jongin placed him into his crib, pulling a thin blanket over him. He watched him for a few seconds and then changed into a pair of comfortable sweats.

When he returned to the living room, Kyungsoo was awake but his eyes were heavy. He yawned, beckoning Jongin to come lay with him. Jongin followed, tiptoeing around the toy’s splayed across the floor and squeezed himself on the sofa, his feet hanging off the edge. He lay his face in the crook of Kyungsoo’s neck, entwining their fingers. 

Jongin kissed his neck, the skin was warm and delicate. 

“Missed you,” he mumbled into the skin. Kyungsoo played with Jongin’s hair with his free hand.

“I missed you too,” he replied softly. “Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook you something?”

Jongin shook his head. “No, I just want to stay here with you.”

They stayed like that for a while, their limbs tangled up in each other. Every now and then Jongin pressed a chaste kiss on Kyungsoo’s nose, his cheeks, his lips.

“Joon’s hair is getting so long, you can tie it up now.” Jongin giggled, the headbands and hair accessories they bought when Joon was a newborn were now coming in handy.

“He looks so cute. I don’t want to cut it, I think boys look cute with long hair.” Kyungsoo replied. 

“Like GunHoo?” 

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo smiled. “We can get it permed when he’s two.”

“My mum use to perm my hair when I was a kid, it was long too.” 

“Really? I want to see a picture. It would be like seeing Joon in the future.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“He looks more like you though, I want to see pictures of you.”

“Honestly I haven’t changed much.” Kyungsoo sighed, his breath hitched when Jongin rubbed his hand over his chest.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Joon’s teething and, he bites when I feed him. I think I should wean him off.” Kyungsoo said.

“Can I make it feel better?” Jongin asked, Kyungsoo nodded and started small massages with one hand on the elder’s chest.

Kyungsoo relaxed, letting Jongin’s hand make gentle rubs on his sensitive bust. He took his time, changing hands from one breast to the other. He began leaving soft kisses on the elders neck, which was now relaxed and laid back into the armrest, giving him more room to venture. 

After a short while he noticed Kyungsoo’s buds were hardening, and the elder was flustered.

“Is this okay?” He asked, bringing his mouth to his jaw and sucking at a small spot under his chin. 

Kyungsoo replied back with a soft moan, one hand lightly gripping a pillow and the other still tangled in Jongin's hair. The younger moved from his neck to his lips, Kyungsoo parted his mouth straight away and welcomed Jongin’s tongue. Their kisses were a little sloppy, almost as if neither of them had kissed in years. Jongin moaned into Kyungsoo’s mouth, their lips clashing and taking turns sucking each other’s bottom lip. 

Jongin presses firmer on Kyungsoo’s chest, using his fingers instead to play with his hard nipples over his t shirt. He pulled away from Kyungsoo’s lips to rearrange himself, moving the elders legs apart and lying in between them, using his elbows to balance himself. 

Kyungsoo groaned at the new position, feeling Jongin press against his now hardening erection through both their sweats. His fear of Jongin touching him had gone out the window and died in the blazing sun, he wanted Jongin to touch him everywhere, kiss him and move with him. Lips were back on his own, this time softer and slower. Jongin took his time to explore Kyungsoo’s lips, enjoying the sound of their lips smacking in the quiet room, he brushed his fingers over Kyungsoo’s nipples again, this time receiving a louder moan from before and feel damp? 

He pulled away from Kyungsoo’s mouth and looked down, there were two wet patches on Kyungsoo’s shirt. 

“Oh fuck, this is so embarrassing.” the elder groaned, covering his face with his hands.

“No it’s not. I don’t care. I like it.” Jongin replied honestly, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to the damp fabric. Kyungsoo shivered despite the humid night, his hands made way to Jongin’s head and he raked his fingers through his hair as the younger continued to kiss and suck at his clothed nips.

“Can I?” Jongin asked, holding the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt asking to remove it. 

Kyungsoo flustered, he wanted this but he was scared his body would turn Jongin off. 

“What’s wrong? Should I stop?” 

“My body isn’t as nice as it use to be. I don’t want you to be put off.” Kyungsoo replied.

“I already told you, I don’t care.” 

Jongin waited a few seconds until Kyungsoo gave him a nod to continue, he sat on his feet and pulled his own shirt off first, making Kyungsoo feel more comfortable. The elder’s hands raked down his slight abs, pausing at the waistband of his sweats and noticing the prominent bulge. 

Kyungsoo sat up to help Jongin rid of his own shirt, which met the floor with Joon’s toys. He lay back, wanting to hide himself from his boyfriend’s eyes but Jongin smiled and admired his body. 

“You’re so beautiful.” 

Kyungsoo’s ears blushed a crimson red, a mix of arousal and shyness. Jongin traced his skin, planting soft kisses on every single stretch mark. He kissed his stomach, his belly button and the extra skin that lay under. He loved every inch of it because it was where his beautiful son laid and grew. 

Within minutes, Kyungsoo became confident and rested his hands on Jongin’s back, running his fingers down the muscles and exploring his tanned skin. He wrapped his legs around Jongin’s waist, squeezing his thighs as Jongin leaned down to kiss him. 

It was tender, warm and somewhat magical. Kyungsoo felt fireworks every time Jongin kissed him deeply, returning the favour and letting his tongue invite himself into the younger’s mouth. 

They made out for what felt like hours, their cheeks and lips red and their hearts filled with lust and love for each other. Jongin could not be more in love with Kyungsoo.

“I love you so much.” He whispered, his eyes lidded as he kissed those plump, beautiful lips.

“Jongin, I love you too.” Kyungsoo replied, shifting his body so their crotches made contact. They both moaned at the sudden motion, grinding both their bodies together with their hands roaming each others skin. 

Jongin pulls away, only to remove his sweatpants and boxers, Kyungsoo follows after and settles back on the sofa. Jongin traces Kyungsoo’s thighs, his smooth legs and dainty feet which he grew to love. Holding one leg, he kissed his foot, his ankle and made his way up to his leg to his thigh with his lips. 

“I want to touch you, can I?” He asked. Kyungsoo nodded shyly, his face suddenly turning red.

Jongin got up and made a beeline to the bathroom, he soon came back holding a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. 

“When did you buy that?” Kyungsoo laughed, he cleaned the bathroom often and never came across them.

“Recently, but I am very good at hiding things.” Jongin winked, he opened the cap and spread a generous amount on his fingers.

“Um, have you…” He began, clearing his throat.

“I’ve touched myself there once, just to see if I could feel my scars from the stitches. It was sensitive but that was about four months ago.” 

“I’ll be extra gentle then, tell me if it hurts okay?”

Jongin returned to kissing him, trying to distract any discomfort as he prodded a finger inside him. Kyungsoo relaxed under him, wrapping his arms around his waist. When the second finger entered, the elder softly moaned. It wasn’t painful but a little uncomfortable. Jongin kissed and sucked his collarbone, thrusting a little faster when Kyungsoo opened his legs wider.

After awhile Kyungsoo felt ready, he ripped the condom wrapper off and put it on Jongin. He moaned at the contact of Kyungsoo’s small hands around his length, he felt like he would come there and then just having his touch his dick.

Kyungsoo lay back, opening his legs wide for Jongin. The younger gulped, it had been awhile. A very long while. And the last time they had sex it changed their lives completely. He positioned himself, the tip catching on Kyungsoo’s rim. 

He looked at Kyungsoo beneath him, waiting for his permission. He nodded, smiling the most beautiful smile and Jongin’s heart fluttered. 

“I love you.”

Before Kyungsoo could say anything back, Jongin was pushing in slowly. The hefty amount of lube helped them both, making it less painful for Kyungsoo. He gasped when Jongin was fully in, tangling his fingers in his hair. Jongin pulled out halfway, then pushed in again, being gentle as possible. He was so afraid of hurting Kyungsoo that he went at a snail’s pace.

“J-Jongin! Jesus, just move or something!”

Feeling embarrassed, he pushed himself up to his knees and held Kyungsoo’s legs open. Jongin set a pace that soon had Kyungsoo whining underneath him, he watched his cock fucking Kyungsoo. Over and over. He went faster and harder, positioning Kyungsoo’s legs until he found that special spot.

The room was filled with soft moans and the sound of skin slapping. The couple was covered in sweat now, and as Jongin pounded into him, Kyungsoo lay like a rag doll taking it. His own hand touching himself while whining Jongin’s name.

They were both close, they knew they wouldn’t last long. Jongin dropped Kyungsoo’s legs and went back down to kiss him. With one hand holding him up, he used his free hand to play with Kyungsoo’s nipples.

“I’m gonna come.” Kyungsoo moaned in a harsh whisper. Jongin took hold of his member and stroked it a few times, rubbing the head with his thumb and Kyungsoo spilt all over his hand.

Jongin soon came shortly after, his lips on Kyungsoo’s neck and his now stained hand entwined with Kyungsoo’s.

Panting together, Jongin pulled out and took the used condom off, tying it and throwing it in the wastebin that was by the sofa. He took a box of tissues and wiped his hand and Kyungsoo’s stomach. He lay beside Kyungsoo, just how they were before.

They lay together, not saying a word. Just staring into each other’s eyes. Jongin noticed a few tears rising in Kyungsoo’s orbs, and he bought his hand up to wipe them away before the spilt down his cheeks.

“Why are you crying?” Jongin’s voice was croaky. 

“I’m just so happy. I never thought I would be here, with you and Joon. I just love you so much.” Kyungsoo replied, his throat was aching from stopping himself from crying.

“Me neither. You’re all I’ve ever wanted, I’m glad it’s you Kyungsoo.” 

Jongin pulled a thin blanket over their bodies, and he bought Kyungsoo’s body close to his. The elder rested his head on Jongin’s chest while they played with the hands of each other, they lay for hours. Talking, kissing and embracing each other until Joon’s cries woke them up from their bliss. Jongin got up quickly, putting on his boxers and fetched the baby, he stopped crying as soon as he saw his father.

Kyungsoo reached for Jongin’s sweatpants and quickly pulled them on. He sat up, wincing at the pain but nothing a hot bath and some pain killers could help. When Jongin returned, Joon was smiling when he saw his mother.

“Look who it is Joonie, it’s Omma.” Jongin said, holding Joon with his hands and swishing him around the room like an aeroplane, swinging him back and forwards to Kyungsoo. His long hair bouncing and his arms flying in the air. Joon was giggling so much, making the couple laugh at how adorable their son was.

The love they had for their son was unimaginable.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Two years later.

“Kim Jongin!!!” Kyungsoo shouted from the bathroom. 

“Kim Jongin!!” Joon mimicked, giggling at his mother’s annoyance. He was in the living room playing with his train set he got for his birthday.

“What?” 

Kyungsoo came into the kitchen where Jongin was cooking dinner, he threw a white stick at his head.

“What’s this?”

“We need to move to a bigger place,” Kyungsoo said, crossing his arms.

“Why?”

“I’m pregnant.”

  
  



End file.
